


hold on to hope (hold on to me)

by misskatieleigh



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Gen, Meditation, Nightmares, the care and feeding of Bodhi Rook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 23:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10797135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misskatieleigh/pseuds/misskatieleigh
Summary: Bodhi has nightmares. About Jedha, about Scarif, about what if what if what if. Chirrut does what he can to help his friend rest.





	hold on to hope (hold on to me)

**Author's Note:**

> just cross-posting this from my tumblr. originally a prompt from [OKami_hu](http://archiveofourown.org/users/OKami_hu/pseuds/OKami_hu)

Bodhi is exhausted. He can’t remember the last time he slept through the night; probably not since they pulled him from the bacta tank, though he’s not sure if drugged sleep even counts. Still, he’s fairly certain that Chirrut will be offended if he falls asleep during their meditation time.

  
He’s supposed to be clearing his mind. His mind is not cooperating. Every time his eyes slip closed he’s back in that cell, tentacles coiling around his skull. He’s standing on that ridge in the rain, only this time he’s holding the blaster, Galen in his sight. He’s on that ridge, but Cassian turns the blaster on him.

  
He’s on that landing pad, watching a grenade roll toward him in slow motion.

  
Chirrut makes a sharp noise in his throat.

  
“You’re supposed to be clearing your mind, Bodhi, not torturing yourself.”

  
Bodhi curls forward, dropping his face into his hands. His back creaks, unused to holding one position for so long.

  
“I’m trying, I swear. I just suck at this, apparently.”

  
Chirrut smiles gently.

  
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. There are many days where even I cannot find peace in my mind.”

  
He pauses, considering his thoughts for a moment.

  
“Perhaps we should try something different. Come, sit right in front of me.”

  
Bodhi climbs to his feet, walking the few steps between them and sitting back down, their crossed legs touching at the knees. Chirrut lifts his arms, holding his hands out to Bodhi.

  
“May I?”

  
Bodhi nods, flushing almost instantly as he realizes his mistake.

  
“Yeah, um, go ahead.”

  
It’s not what Bodhi expected, not that he’s thought about Chirrut touching him often. His fingers are dry and cool, ghosting over Bodhi’s features. They linger briefly in the hollows of his cheeks, a small frown twisting Chirrut’s mouth.

  
“You’ve been having nightmares.”

  
It’s not a question, just a statement of fact that Bodhi can’t deny. He closes his eyes, leaning his weight further into Chirrut’s hands. The touch shifts as he leans forward, turning from gentle searching to a sturdy cradle for Bodhi’s jaw. It feels safe in a way that Bodhi hasn’t felt for years - his mother’s cool hands soothing fever heated cheeks, some vague memory of fitting into strong arms, hands cradling his head and mirror image brown eyes memorizing his face.

  
Bodhi pulls back, tears dripping down his cheeks, the taste of salt at the corner of his mouth.

  
“Sorry, Chirrut. I should - I have to go.”

  
Chirrut reaches out for him, catching his hand in a gentle grip.

  
“It is understandable to fear what might have been, but you must also remember the truth of what happened. You are not alone anymore.”

  
Bodhi swipes at his face, a low sob tearing out of his throat unbidden.

  
“I’m just… so tired. I can’t do this anymore.”

  
Chirrut hushes him softly, tugging on his arm until he lays down on the mat, head resting in Chirrut’s lap.

  
“So rest. I will keep watch.”


End file.
